Dec 022004

Well, I met with my oncologist earlier this week.
Everything is looking really good and, as he would say, I am in the group that has the highest likelihood of beating this thing.
And my CA125 level has stayed at pretty much the same spot and that’s good news too.

Now my job is to try to get my life back to normal, and get things back on track.
And also deal with the fact that it could come back.
I am still trying to figure out how this post-treatment phase goes.
Like, when I started doing chemo, I got kind of freaked out by the whole thing.
Then I thought about it and figured that, in all likelihood, I would live through the chemo process, and it would be the aftermath of that process that would be where I ended up being bitten on the ass or not. And now I am in that process. On one hand, I just want to get on with everything, and on the other hand, it’s all a bit eerie. I think I just need to make it through the next chunk of time with everything going well and then I can start to relax some.

I have been extra lethargic this time. I don’t know why. I was much more active after the other treatments. I don’t quite know why I am dragging my ass so much this time.It’s been really grey and rainy and dark, and that hasn’t been helping to motivate me, that’s for sure.

My acupuncturist says I don’t seem like someone with low energy, and he also says that I am doing better than some of his patients who haven’t done chemo, so that is good news.

My hair is starting to come back in, slowly but surely.
Right now, I am covered in little dark brown baby thin hairs, all about an 1/8th of an inch long. And it really is like the hair that babies grow, really soft and fine.

It’s all kind of weird. After my last chemo, I was all jacked up and wanted to celebrate. But we didn’t celebrate. And now I am kind of in a weird state with it all and it doesn’t feel like something to celebrate anymore, or something…
It has been weird to go through something so huge and not wrap it up somehow. But I am no longer clear on what I ought to do to wrap it up.

On other fronts, we had to change the site a bit because I kept getting about 35 spam entries per day in the comments section. We had to upgrade to something that lets me approve comments before they show up, because the old way was becoming ridiculous.
We will get the whole look back on track soon, just you wait.

 Posted by at 4:24 pm

  3 Responses to “Home Free”

  1. Spike,

    We couldn’t have heard better news.

    Please be gentle with yourself, you have been to hell and back and I think it makes sense that now the chemo is over, that the full effect of what you went through and the fear would hit. Your life will always be different now and how you think and feel. Trying to relax but still being scared is not easy either. One step at a time Spike. You will get there.

    Love and hugs
    Fiona& Wayne

  2. I know it doesn’t feel like it’s over for you–and the experience and journey clearly isn’t.

    But is it ok that I’m frickin’ psyched that you results are so promising? Because I am!

    I love you! Whatever your lab results!

  3. I was wondering if you had any bleeding after intercourse before your ovarian cancer was diagnosed. I am having some problems myself and I am just curious if this happened to you. I am happy for you that you caught this in time and all is well.

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