Oct 272005

Hey, thanks to all the people who have been so great about my dad and his illness.
It all sucks in a rather large way.
But I think maybe it sucks a tiny bit less than I thought it was sucking recently.
As it stands now, my dad is not (yet) in palliative care.
That’s the good news.

But he is still in the hospital. That’s 6 weeks and counting. And that is either good or bad, depending on how much of a long term view you are taking.
My dad has COPD and that pretty much bollocks up his breathing. He is wearing a mask pretty constantly these days.
The doctors and the physio’s at the hospital want to get him up and get him moving, but they can’t because his O2 levels drop so low when they try to get him to move around.
I don’t know what’s going to happen.
Hopefully I will be able to zip up there one of these days.

I don’t know what else to say.

Except things in the life of Spike are still fucked up in many ways. I feel like I spend way too much time dealing with hard crap in every angle of my life and I don’t get enough fun.
So, if you are in my life and you want to hang out and have fun, I am all over that.
But if you are in my life and you are gonna be a some kind of goof, then fuck ya.
I am so sick and tired of dealing with hard crap and pain and more crap.
I am digging in my heels and I will not stop until this little merry-go-round comes to a stop.
You wanna ride along, hop on, and be some kind of sweet and some kind of fun, and some kind of kind.


 Posted by at 6:42 pm
Oct 142005

hey, did I say my dad was getting a bit better?
Did I?

What a freakin’ fibber I am.
Today they told me that they are gonna move him to palliative care.
I can hardly stand to listen to myself, I have turned into such a whiny little wanker.

Yep, that’s how it is.

Well, actually, there are other nasty, ugly, tortured bits, but you might think I was just making crap up because it’s almost Hallowe’en. Dark, twisted painful tales of gut-wrenching sorrow and loneliness.

I’d just like a bit of a break soon.
I don’t think it’s too much to ask.
I’d like things to settle down with my girlfriend, I’d like things to settle down with my family, I would like school to be the only complication in my life.

Can I please have that?
Don’t I deserve that yet?

 Posted by at 10:19 pm
Oct 122005

For those of you following at home…

Lots of folks have been asking about my dad….
I dunno what’s going to happen there.
He will be in the hospital for at least another two weeks. That adds up to over a month if you figure it from when he got admitted a few weeks ago.
Rumours has it that the old man is getting marginally better. We know this because he is talking, and demonstrating our genetic disposition towards crankiness.
I don’t quite know what will happen next for my dad. If he gets out, he will probably end up in some sort of “rest home”.

His diagnosis is COPD, which means he has any combination of three lung diseases. I know I wouldn’t want to be his lungs, that’s for sure.
Anyway, short story of the whole thing is, I don’t know what is going on with my dad but I do really appreciate how sweet people have been about asking.
I imagine I will have to take a trip up there once I get done with this semester, assuming nothing too intense happens in the meantime.

About the BRCA 1 X-men mutation… well, apparently we are not having a Hallowe’en party at chez moi this year so I don’t know where I will take my Wolverine look.

I am waiting to hear from the folks at the Cancer Agency. I should have been put in touch with someone from the High Risk Clinic, but no word yet. But it’s okay, I got one of my favorite peeps at the Cancer Agency working on it. Hopefully I will hear soon.

School is intense. I am at the beginning of mid-terms and I know it’s all down hill from here.
I have the opportunity to go to San Francisco and see Metallica open for the Rolling Stones. I can’t tell you how much I want to do this, but, hell’s bells, it couldn’t happen at a less opportune time.
Stay tuned on that front.
Anyway, I am slogging my way through school, with the occasional fantasy about wild rock concerts and Cirque de Soliel shows.

And in case you were wondering, it is my humble opinion that my girlfriend and I are both (still) crazy.
I dunno aboot her, but I may or may not be available for coffee dates and head-patting sessions.
She never seems lacking for that sort of attention, but I could use some.
Also, if someone could create a few extra hours in each day, that would be great too.
Then I would have time for coffee and head-patting.

And last but not least…
I have been thinking a lot today about how my bosses and co-workers sent me to the Wickanninish Inn last year and how great that was.
It was really the vacation of a lifetime for me.
It was spectacular and I am so grateful for that. Even a year later, it still makes me happy.
If you want to see the pictures, go here:


and now, mes amis, I am going to bed.
I have a date with the librarian at the Cancer Agency tomorrow morning.

later, taters.


 Posted by at 11:28 pm