I have been so out of it for the last while that, with some degree of surprise, I realize that spring has pretty much uncoiled and sprung and is patiently waiting for the tap on the shoulder from summer, at which point spring will wander elsewhere until we need it again next year. I’m not sure where it goes. Maybe it slides into a big Rubbermaid container and gets pushed under the bed. Who knows?
I moved into my place on March 1st and while I knew I had a stunning view, it’s these days when the sun shines for a long time that really drives that point home. My view is excellent during the day and also at night, when I can see the lights on the bridge off in the distance and the ships in the harbour down below me. I have had days when I drag my sorry ass home from work, just run down and exhausted, and walked in the door and had the view both overwhelm and cheer me.
The cats have a tiny balcony and they lay out there and come in all warm and half-baked from the sunshine.
They lay around in the enormous pools of sunlight that come in. It just delights me every time I see them stretched out in the sun. They seem content here, and I am happy about that.
I have been hitting the gym a lot lately, finally getting back in that groove which I fell out of when I moved. Getting the routine established has been harder this time than other returns, but I think I have it down now. I have also been riding my mountain bike a lot lately. I realized about a month ago that it takes me exactly the same amount of time to drive my truck to work, park and then walk the 4 blocks to my work site as it does to get on my bike and blow all those pedestrians off the sidewalk… and when the cost of gas went up to $1.20 a litre, well, the stupidity of driving my truck was just too clear, even to me.
And I have been re-reading the Harry Potter books, in anticipation of the final book’s release in a few weeks. It amazes me how she created a series where some small detail in the second book will come back into focus in the 6th book. It also amazes me how many of the details I have forgotten over the last couple of years but I blame the chemo for that. I really, really like the HP series and think J,K.Rowling has done an amazing thing for literacy. And I will be both happy and sad when the final book is released, because I will have it, but then it will be over. But I think old JK probably deserves some quiet time with her family and loved ones. It may be a long time till she can have that, but wrapping up the HP series will probably provide some light at the end of the tunnel.
That’s it from me. I am feeling pretty optimistic about the summer and ways that I can spend a whole lot of time away from here and relaxing elsewhere. Money is always a consideration, but I have a few things in mind and I am hoping that I spend the summer making special guest appearances at work rather than being a regularly scheduled guest.
And on a somewhat sad note, I got an e-mail from the folks at Pandora.com saying that they were suspending service to clients who were not in the USA. For those who don’t know, Pandora was a music genome project and it was a brilliant way to turn yourself on to new music. As a user, you would create your own ’stations’ based on an artist or album that you liked and Pandora would search its files and play music that other users had rated as being similar. So, I had created an “Etta James” station and got turned on to other women blues singers. Same for creating a “Leo Kottke” station, or even… a “Metallica” station. I don’t really understand why users have to be in the USA, but apparently it had something to do with copyright issues. But if you are south of the 49th, you should really make the most of this. And me, I am just hoping the resolve whatever deets need to be resolved because it was such a great thing. Just pick an artist that your are in the mood for, plunk the name in, and wander around your place listening to great music.
They have to bring it back!
over and out.
So, someone sent me a blog comment which basically amounted to them telling me that I should work on a more prolific blog presence. That posting once a month was, perhaps, less than ideal.
Having given it some thought, I think she is right.
How to catch you up on the last month…
A couple of weeks ago, I went to Seattle for an ex-gf’s 60th birthday. At first I was horrified because I thought this meant that I was old, but what I realized is that it really means she is a chicken hawk.
Being in Seattle was good on a lot of levels. Part of what was good was seeing friends who have been in the same relationships for the last twenty years and seeing how they interact. It’s not perfect and sometimes they bicker, but at the end of the day, it’s pretty sweet.
I confess that I try to learn as I go when it comes to those big time relationships. I kinda got knocked back to kindergarten, but that’s okay. I can hone my humility some. It’s still really interesting to me to see how people interact when they have been together for a long, long time. I think it’s easy to get in an absent-minded groove and to be upset about whatever grumbly and annoying things are messing with your utopian vision today. It’s hard to remember to be kind and sweet to each other.
Thankfully, I am no longer put to that test, but for those of you in relationships, I think you should try to remember to be sweet to your sweetie. How else will they know that you care if you don’t extend yourself?
On other fronts, this week has been a week of coming out all over again.
I don’t know how to explain it and this thing has certainly consumed a lot of my mental and emotional energy and… if it needs to be said publicly then let me be the one to do it but after a long haul with sobriety, I have decided that I want to see if I can be just like a normal person.
Like I said, I don’t know how to explain it nor do I know how much I need to explain to the general public.
The details that are available for the general public are that I am awfully tired of being the person who is always different than everyone else in the group.
It’s also true that I have felt more and more isolated with the whole sobriety thing over the last few years, so that ultimately,crossing that line seemed like a way to re-connect with people.
It’s an experiment, and if I screw up, I know where to go to drink bad coffee and be hugged non-consentually. But in the short term, this is where I am at.