Jun 142004

First of all, I want to say a huge thanks to the VWL and all the folks who went to their fundraising event, aka “Spike-Aid”. You guys are so sweet! A huge, big, enormous thank you to all the folks who went there and did something and had some big fun too (from what I hear ) and then thought about me and my situation.
I’m sorry we couldn’t make it. It’s always a balancing act in my mind now, before I go out in public, deciding how well I feel in that moment and weighing it all out. I wish I could have come to it, and I awfully happy that people were so kind and thoughtful.

You guys are the best!

I’ve been feeling better each day till now I feel, dare I say, almost normal, and I went out and bought a whack of organic produce and stuff.
I heard a rumour that we are going to be getting a delivery from SPUD soon. That’s cool, but I do enjoy going out and shopping for organic stuff when I feel up to it and it was fun to go out and get a box of produce this weekend.
We now have a rather enormous stack of organic produce and it is my hope that we consume it all by next week and start again.
That’s my plan.
I hear these raw foods are a good way of eating.

But yeah, every day I am feeling a little better and I am basically feeling like I am back to my regular self for this week, though I really have to exist in a state of modified ‘regular-selfishness’, because I could run myself down really easily and because I still have to be awfully careful about being around big groups of people. (I’m still trying to figure out how to do Pride this year.)
So I seem to be getting a bit better every day. I even spent about an hour working in the yard yesterday! That was pretty exciting for me.

I did get to see the new Harry Potter movie this weekend.
That was fun.
I liked it, but I think I need to see it again when it comes out on dvd.

So, as far as I can figure, I have this week to enjoy and then next week I do chemo again and we start the cycle all over again.

For me, one of the weirdest things about my life changing so fast and being sick, even if I don’t always feel sick, is trying to find some balance in things.
At first I thought about cancer all the time, all the time, all the time.
Then that started to mellow a bit, but I’d be lying if I said it was anything like how normal people think about it.

Right now, I think Elaine and I are still learning about how to balance the timing of everything in our lives.
Just a word of endorsement for my lovely g-f now…
See, my g-f used to have a lot more free time, she used to be able to have a whim and follow it, she used to be able to leave the house without arranging for a sitter, she used to get a minimum of about 50 hours a week of time without me crashing around the house in another room.
She says she likes me being in the house, and that’s pretty lucky for me because it would be cold standing around outside in November when I have no hair.
Anyway… Elaine has had a huge balancing/juggling act and I just want to make sure everyone understands what she has been doing lately.
Because she has been trying to do lots of work so she can have balance out the chunks of time when all I can do is lay on the couch and have her look after me.
She’s been looking a little crispy around the edges and I hope people are being kind and understanding with her.
So, just because I am feeling better, please realize that Elaine is still under a rather enormous strain and may or may not be able to hang and chat or whatever.
S’cool, eh?
And also bear in mind that in a week, it will all be different again.
And so on, and so on.

I have to go get some bloodwork done.
I start another treatment next Tuesday, the 22nd, so we will be going underground again around that point.

Roger Dodger
Over and Out

 Posted by at 10:43 am

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