It’s a bit insane for me to be sitting here posting to the blog again today, but it seems kind of important to me, otherwise I would be laying down sleeping or reading or something.
I wanted to share a thing that happened today, and maybe I’m still trying to digest it.
See, we went to see my GP today. She’s been off on holidays for the last 6 weeks and so when I last saw her, we knew I had a tumour but that was all. The strong belief was that it was endometriosis, it really did seem way more likely. And we knew I had to talk to a groin ecologist but no appointment had been made.
A lot has happened since that time.
Now, the thing you need to understand is, I really like my GP. She is a really nice, sincere woman. I have always felt like she listened to me and cared how I was and she has never treated me like some goofy stupid patient.
And, I have dealt with a lot of medical staff in the last 6 weeks and they have all been pretty decent, but it’s nice to just have an easy, long standing communication with someone.
So, me and Elaine are sitting at the doctor’s office and my GP comes and gets us so we can catch up on what’s what. And as we walked down the hallway to her office, I just started to cry cuz it became really clear how much stuff has happened to me in the last 6 weeks and it hasn’t really slowed down, and I just had a little sob in the hallway of the doctor’s office, which, if you don’t know me, is about as likely as pigs flying.
But that wasn’t what I wanted to tell you about.
It’s actually even freakier than that.
We were sitting there and Pat, my doctor, was looking thru my file and we were asking her questions and stuff and it was pretty good. And I don’t recall exactly how we got there, but she looked down at my file and she said that the original tumour, the thing that started it all, the one that showed up on the ultrasound, she said it was benign.
So, it seems they cut me open for a benign tumour and fell upon a whole whack of badness in other places.
And there is something about that that I find just so completely freaky.
As Elaine said, it’s sort of like someone tripping you in a crosswalk and they inadvertently knock you out of the way of a bus that was about to cream your sorry ass.
See, I just don’t know how to process that piece of information. Because really, if it hadn’t been for the benign tumour, I would still be walking around with a pelvis full of cancer.
It’s pretty strange to process.
And as we sat there, all more than a little bit stunned, Pat looked at me and said, “so, what I am saying here, Spike, is that your partner saved your life”
and then we got a bit weepy again.
You know, I know Elaine is spectacular and I know it better than anyone else knows it. I get kind of bored with how lots of people think they know how spectacular she is, when really they don’t. They see some little snippet of who she is and they put her on a little pedestal and I roll my eyes a fairly huge amount because I think that stuff is a bit ridiculous. (I can say these things because I have cancer.)
But I have always known she is incredible.
And I am still trying to wade through the enormity of her really quite literally saving my life.
I guess I gotta get busy getting better so I can try to pay her back.
A couple thoughts about some of this –
As I remember it, Elaine was the one to find River’s fibroids – which were what led to them “accidently” finding that little bit of precancerous stuff that ended being so close to being cancer but didn’t actually make it there – only cause they found it in time. Wow. It’s all just amazing.