May 222007

So, someone sent me a blog comment which basically amounted to them telling me that I should work on a more prolific blog presence. That posting once a month was, perhaps, less than ideal.
Having given it some thought, I think she is right.

How to catch you up on the last month…
A couple of weeks ago, I went to Seattle for an ex-gf’s 60th birthday. At first I was horrified because I thought this meant that I was old, but what I realized is that it really means she is a chicken hawk.
Being in Seattle was good on a lot of levels. Part of what was good was seeing friends who have been in the same relationships for the last twenty years and seeing how they interact. It’s not perfect and sometimes they bicker, but at the end of the day, it’s pretty sweet.
I confess that I try to learn as I go when it comes to those big time relationships. I kinda got knocked back to kindergarten, but that’s okay. I can hone my humility some. It’s still really interesting to me to see how people interact when they have been together for a long, long time. I think it’s easy to get in an absent-minded groove and to be upset about whatever grumbly and annoying things are messing with your utopian vision today. It’s hard to remember to be kind and sweet to each other.
Thankfully, I am no longer put to that test, but for those of you in relationships, I think you should try to remember to be sweet to your sweetie. How else will they know that you care if you don’t extend yourself?

On other fronts, this week has been a week of coming out all over again.
I don’t know how to explain it and this thing has certainly consumed a lot of my mental and emotional energy and… if it needs to be said publicly then let me be the one to do it but after a long haul with sobriety, I have decided that I want to see if I can be just like a normal person.
Like I said, I don’t know how to explain it nor do I know how much I need to explain to the general public.
The details that are available for the general public are that I am awfully tired of being the person who is always different than everyone else in the group.
It’s also true that I have felt more and more isolated with the whole sobriety thing over the last few years, so that ultimately,crossing that line seemed like a way to re-connect with people.
It’s an experiment, and if I screw up, I know where to go to drink bad coffee and be hugged non-consentually. But in the short term, this is where I am at.


 Posted by at 9:33 pm

  4 Responses to “Catching up”

  1. hey Spike,

    I hear you about being tired of being the one who is always different in the group (for various reasons). Can be very isolating indeed.

    I’m wishing you good luck with crossing this particular line — it is not up to anyone else to make such decisions for you.

    Hope to see you soon. Come by for coffee?


  2. Yeah! I made your blog!!

    I guess what I didn’t notice….you typically only update once a month!
    Hummm….oh well, I think you are a great writer and you should post more than once a month. There are many people who read out here. What do they say…for evey one person who actually comments there are xxx who don’t?
    I’ve been following you for well over a year now…and will be pulling for you to find that “normal” you so seek. Just let us know when you find it, so the rest of us can tune in our GPS’s.

  3. Hey Spike, it’s good to hear an update from you and know that you haven’t fallen off the face of the planet entirely.

    I wish you luck with leaving sobriety behind, and I hope that you are able to make the re-connections you are hoping for.

    take care,

  4. Spike I wish you the best on this adjustment to the “normal”… I can understand the struggle from a slightly different angle – my dh is a friend of Bill W also… he has been sober for over 22 years now. Of course he just changed his addiction – to me and golf! lol.
    I hope that you find your normal.

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