Comrades

Well, I wrote a post the other night, all about how I went to work the other day and realized well into the day that it was the 2 year anniversary of my OVCA diagnosis. I wrote about how that was kind of weird. And how it also felt a bit like a non-event, and how *that* felt weird. Because, hell’s bells, a whole lot of crap and good stuff has happened in this last two years. I guess I expected to have a larger emotional reaction to it all.

So I wrote a post about that, and it felt not completely spot on, but I posted it anyway.

And then we had a server crash and everything that happened on the website since the last backup of the site, well, that stuff went to the abyss of lost text that exists somewhere in the ether.

So, two years. Holy cow, eh?

Lucky me.

And I do mean that. I know that I got a really good deal in a really crappy situation. I have no guarantees that I won’t have a recurrence. I only have the good thing where the longer I go without a recurrence, the more likely I am to be able to avoid having one, statistically speaking.

Fingers crossed.

That said, I want to talk about the whole crazy world of blogging about having cancer and what that is like.

See, at some point in the past Louise found my site, dropped me an e-mail and asked if she could link her blog to mine. I was delighted to have been hooked up with someone who could understand all the finer, agonizing details of the OVCA ordeal and said “sure thing” pretty dang quick.

Through Louise, I  hooked up with several other women, all of whom were doing their part to dropkick ovarian cancer. One of those women is Cancerbaby. Cancerbaby is a brilliant writer, and, I suspect, a brilliant woman. She hasn’t made many blog entries lately and now, things are going rather crappily for her. And I feel very, very bad about that.

My girlfriend, in her great wisdom, has a belief that people you “know” through the internet but have never met in real life are “your imaginary friends”. The one exception to the imaginary friends rule is the women I have connected up with through our ovarian cancer blogs.

So Cancerbaby’s circumstances have become awful, and I feel awful.

At the same time, I know some part of what it is like to be terribly, terribly sick and how you know that most people actually can’t actually comprehend what you are going through or how wretched you feel. And on that level, I know only a small speck of what Cancerbaby is going through. And while I am grateful for my ignorance, I am very sad that someone I feel that kindred connection with is suffering and having to fight so hard. I am sad that someone has to feel even worse than I did, and to know that she has been feeling worse for quite a long time.

I wish I had some upbeat note I could leave this on, but I am coming up short on that score.

Please send whatever sort of kind and caring thoughts you can to Cancerbaby.

(comments rescued from the crash)