Spike's Story, with notes in red by Elaine.

[Elaine's Note: And Elaine's version is the correct one, every time. ]

We made the decision to take this wee roadtrip last month. I was feeling kind of mental at the time, and I suspect that Elaine acquiesced for humanitarian reasons. Too much work, too little sleep and a profound need to have something special to look forward to through the dark daze of winter.
Doesn't really matter why she agreed, she's a woman of her word and she said she'd like to go away too, and so I knew that unless I was imprisoned for multiple homocides, we were going to Long Beach.

[Elaine's Note: Spike drew me this picture to keep my winterized hopes up, and I stuck it on my keyboard next to the Escape key.]

We didn't get much sleep the night before our trip. Our deep and luxurious sleep was interrupted by the squealing of tires and a loud crash, which required our investigation. But it was cold outside so we just peaked out the window, and upon seeing no bodies or other human carnage and seeing that my truck was still in the same spot and looking like the same truck, we went back to sleep for the couple of nanoseconds before the alarm went off.

In the morning, as I got up to load the truck, I realized that my mirror had been smashed. I thought this was ominous, since we were about to do us some highway driving and besides, I'd only had a couple of sips of coffee and I can't handle much in a pre-joe state. but I pushed on through.

We loaded up the truck and headed to the ferry terminal. It was a beautiful sunny day and we were out on the ocean and it was great.
But it was still kind of nippy so we didn't spend too long outside. Just long enough to get a shot or two of my butt and a token seagull and it was back to the promenade deck for us.

On the ferry, Elaine took advantage of me.
And my sleepy state. By playing cards... Speed, to be exact. the only times I came close to winning was when I went for full body participation. So, in fact, I cheated to win, which probably isn't winning at all, but hey, it felt good in the moment. Elaine also created a set of secure circumstances for me to go to the bathroom. See, me + morning coffee + temperature drop + public bathroom = a bit of a problem.  [Elaine's Note: That's cos Spike's such a butchly butch that all the straight girls can't tell she's a girl. Those crazy hets, huh? So I did advance-scout work, and guarded the door.]
But Elaine saw thru my brave face with the big bulging eyes as I declared, 'no, I don't need to pee'.

We got off the ferry at Nanaimo, partly cuz that's where we needed to be and partly because you really don't have any other choice. In Nanaimo we stopped at the world's largest Canajun Tire, to try to fix my mirror, but of course, they didn't have the part in stock and from looking at it, it seemed like a bit of a complicated maneouver to try to MacGyver it. So, off we tore, with 8 images of everything to the left of me, it makes highway driving so much more of an adventure.

Lickety-split after you get out of Nanaimo, you get on a highway to head west across the island. First stop is Coombs, home of not much besides a place that dazzles passers-by with a bunch of goats on the roof of a restaurant or something like that. We were greatly saddened to learn that the goats don't come out to the roof till March 15 and we didn't have 2 weeks to sit around and wait for Billy and Nanny, so we went to the army surplus store instead. We were travelling light, at least cash-wise so we spent all our money in the army surplus, or I did. I got some tres stylish coveralls and a really great jacket for dirt cheap and what luck that I bought clothes that go with my new sailor boi haircut. I was happy, happy, happy. Elaine is happy cuz the coveralls create multiple access points. I'm sure that's what the military had in mind when they designed them. [Elaine's Note:  We'll see if the pilot's overalls make it easier to be made to "fly"...  ]

Elaine got herself a groovy jacket too though we carefully avoided the common dyke problem of couple dressing because we are anything but common dykes. Hers has a multitude of pockets. She, in spite of her genuine toppiness, became the sherpa of the beach, carrying the cd face plate and sunglasses and pocket romance novels (hers) and copies of Popular Mechanics (mine) and snacks and everything in the pockets. [Elaine's Note: C'mon, Spike. I know you have the bodice-ripper habit. I'm more the Science Journal type o' gal, myself. ]

After spending all the money I haven't earned yet, we got back in the truck and drove a not very long time until we thought we might stop and eat some lunch and have another bladder draining experience.

So we  stopped at a provincial park and pulled out the cooler. There we dined on pita and cheese and garlic sausage and rooting tooting root beers.we were in heaven. [Elaine's Note: See how eager Spike is to get into that rootbeer? ]

In spite of that, Elaine got very territorial about her food. I didn't want her stenkin' sandwich, I was enjoying my own. Back off, get your own sandwich! As you can see, she got quite hostile. [Elaine's Note:  When I could stop laughing, that is. ]  

The only thing i could do was leave her in the back of the truck until she  had an attitude adjustment. I guess maybe I shouldn't have driven away with her back there, but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
[Elaine's Note: Um. Spike? It's cold back here. Spike? I'm feelin' a little windblown...   ]

She beggedand pleaded and took my picture while I could barely hear her faint cries to be able to bask in the warm and wonderous cab of the truck.
I suppose she may have been kicking herself for having bought me that new set of speakers, which were cranked up so loud I could hardly hear her.

But eventually, I pulled over and let her back in the cab. I was fortunate enough that she thought the whole thing was funny. Whew!

[Elaine's Note: This pic was taken while lying flat on my back in the truck bed. Nice clear day, ain't it? ]

We drove some more and some more after that.

The road into Long Beach is beautiful and a bit trecherous at times. It's an old logging road and in most spots there ain't a whole lot of room to be snoozing at the wheel. But it is an amazing drive.
There is a park of old growth forest that we drove through. The rest of the island has pretty much been clearcut, but not this chunk, so they named the park after the guy who owns the company that clearcut the rest of the island.
Still, it's awful beautiful.
But we don't have any pictures of that because we didn't have time to stop. [Elaine's Note:  Yes we do. I was hanging out the truck window, snapping on the fly. ]  It was one of the two days per year that it wasn't raining at Long Beach and we were pumped up to get there as soon as possible.
so, we drove and we drove and we drove.
I let Elaine put on headbanging music. It must be love. [Elaine's Note: {smile}  ]

Finally, with tingling butts and great enthusiasm, we reached the beach. And drove right on by.
You see, we pack in a way that we are prepared for armageddon everytime we leave town, and being East End dykes, we don't leave diddly-squat in a vehicle we aren't occupying, so we first had to drive to our little house and unload.
Neither of us had been there before and we didn't quite know what to expect. The place costs way less than other places in the area, and that made at least one of us concerned. But to that person's great delight, the place was really, really nice. We zipped inside, unloaded our stuff and headed back to the beach.

Where I walked away from my truck with the back window wide open, in spite of all my angst about having things, including my truck, stolen.

The beach was marvelous. Vancouver is amazing, wonderful mountains and ocean, but we don't have access to the open ocean in Vancouver. It gets calmed down as it works its way around Vancouver Island. And sometimes you just crave the great slamming and crashing of the ocean that goes on forever.
And that's what we had on our hands or at our feet. It was amazing.

We played and played on the beach.
We took a lot of pictures. [Elaine's Note: Almost 500. Aren't you glad to see only a few of them? ]

Elaine did her Zorba the Geek dance in her new jacket on the beach. We saved a Portugese Man of War.
Well, Elaine did. I just kept saying,"hey, be careful, don't let it sting you." and thinking, "you better believe you are washing those hands before you fist me next, girly..." She didn't swell up and neither did I, at least not because of that so for once Elaine mastered the sterile field technique, and I must say, I can't think of a better time for her to have mastered that. I climbed up on some rocks and played King of the World. Elaine handed me her camera and let me fire off a few shots cuz I had burnt thru the film in my plebian camera.
All those hours in the sun and the wind made Elaine's face go all pink. It was sweet. Elaine has a particular fondness for bright sun shots, which I like too. This set came up with a cool purple prism on them, which might be considered a flaw by folks who aren't mezmerized by the little blip the way I am.

Eventually, I got hungry and realized that the tide was coming in and so I whined till we went back to our cabin. The cabin was toasty warm and I was hungry so I cooked up some steaks and stuff. It was pretty darned okay.

[Elaine's Note: Pretty damn amazing, if'n you ask me. Spike cooks as well as she... * ahem* ....   ]

Then after dinner, I was sitting on our porch, having a smoke, listening to the sound of the water crashing on the beach when I looked up and saw a billion stars. Like, a billion, seriously. So, I went inside and grabbed Elaine and talked her into going for a walk with me so we could enjoy the stars.

[Elaine's Note:  This is Spike looking up and seeing a billion stars. ]

We were walking along and she said, "I wonder what it would have been like to watch the meteor shower here?' and at that moment, as if all cued up by some celestial sense of irony, a shooting star went whizzing across the sky and we both squealed and could have wet our pants. We went down to the beach and watched the beam from the lighthouse twist around and around. It was great. this is what we look like against a perfect black background. We don't have any other shots of the night sky because they all came out like this...

We went back to our place and had a piping hot bath. I was delighted by the little jets in the tub, and took to soaking and blasting myself at the same time. Elaine is more old fashioned in her bathing tastes and prefers the jetless soak.

After our long day, we went to bed and
<censored>

[Elaine's Note: {whispering} Spike means we had sex so good the bed almost fell apart   ]

The next day we woke up and had our respective morning beverages. Elaine had been reading The Vampire Lestat and

<censored>

[Elaine's Note: This one can stay censored. Y'all will have to guess.  ]

then I went back in the tub and enjoyed the jets some more. This is what I look like relaxing in the tub.

then Elaine got in the tub and didn't enjoy the jets, but did enjoy herself.  [Elaine's Note:  You know what that sounds like, Spike? Betcha they're all wondering.]

Note her dangerous choice of reading material. [Some tawdry vampire book.]

Then we loaded up the truck and started the trip home. Yep, we just went away for one night.

So, we drove and drove and drove.
we had to watch the time because we didn't really know how long it would take and we had to make sure we didn't miss the last ferry.
We stopped at a place where the river has made the rocks all black and smooth. We ate our lunch there. Elaine was much less territorial about her food this time. I slipped into a creek while peeing in the woods and gave myself a soaker. [Elaine's Note: This is another phrase fraught with the possibilities of innuendo. I think that she means that she got saoked in * creek* water.  ]

The road out is seems even more trecherous because if you slip up, you drive into the rocks on the side of the mountain, whereas on the way in you'd just drive into the lake. But Elaine got lots of good pictures of it all.
In spite of our freakishly good weather, there was still snow on the ground in lots of spots on the trip. Lots and lots of snow.

We got back in the truck and drove and drove and got on the ferry, which was packed, and stayed in the truck, which is verboten, and did crossword puzzles, poorly because we were too relaxed to think.
then we came home, screwed around some, and went to sleep and, the sign of any good vacation, woke up feeling sick.
see, you start to relax and anything can happen.

We had a lovely time, we plan on going back.
this time for more than a night. This was our scouting trip. Next time, there will be even more photos.